Answer: A lukewarm life.
This winter, our family is headed to Lusaka, Zambia for a vision trip. We will serve at Nsansa Village, which provides necessary services to the street children of Lusaka. As a mother who loves comfort and the predictable "knowns" of each day, I invite you into my current thought process and how I am at peace with our next steps - which would be terrifying with the knowledge of Jesus' call on our lives.
Since making the decision to travel to Lusaka, Zambia for 10 days, and to pursue direction on if the Lord is calling us there in a longer-term capacity, so many questions have gone through my head…
1) Is it safe for our children?
2) Will we have enough support – prayers, financial, familial?
3) Will the flight be painful (and endless) with a toddler?
4) Do I have what it takes to stand firm in the face of adversity?
5) Am I willing to give it all up for the Kingdom?
6) What if I am just not strong enough?
THOSE questions are the ones that tend to keep me up at night. (Can you hear it? Me, me, me…)
But then, every morning, I do my daily study in the Word and I am reminded that honestly, NONE of those questions matter. NOT one. Because regardless, if the Lord is calling us to go, then He will provide for our every need, no matter what they may be. Because He calls us to total and complete abandon of this world, without hesitancy, to serve His kingdom. To go immediately when called. To drop our desires, careers, dreams, belongings – to pursue a much greater calling, with a much higher reward.
AND - He has more than adequately equipped us (our family and myself) to do that through His blood shed on the cross, His gift of the Holy Spirit, His Word, and so on. We need NOTHING. We are to bring the Gospel to the lost and broken. To sacrifice ANY-thing of us (i.e. me) to instead embody ALL of Him. What greater calling could we have? As Jim Elliot said, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
I know I'm not the only one awake at night with heavy thoughts on my mind, so please feel free to send me your prayer requests, loved ones. I would be honored to stand in prayer with you.
Blessings, dear friends,
Laura
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